i had to admit (early january)

as i sit on the phone ifeel like to burst into tears ; cause somethings idnt understand &nd idnt think i ever will. somethings idnt get how everyone turns on me&nd its not everyone but i believe soon it will be ; cause what reason do people have to stay.? idnt kno how im suppose to feel ; should I cry should I fight .? for what don't ask everything is scattered in my mind sometimes igo by happy as can bee &nd then i sit by myself &nd then i think ;Nia where do yu go from here .? do yu qo left or right .? do istop in the place I'm standing or do igo forward. maybe backwards if only that was possiblee` boy i wish if that's was possiblee what would ieven change.? cause doesn't everything igo through make a better person.? well doesn't it .? maybe ican see that ; sometimes' idnt know ithink ineed a vacation .! a breather a BREAK.! idnt need this idnt need yu I DON'T NEED ANY OF YU;iqtta qo iqtta get away .! i need too ; ifeel like imma break.! Ima B R E A K into L I T T LE P I E C E S &nd just drift away far into the wind. . . . .

im bacc .

hey blog im bacc .!
&nd whew have imissed talking to yu(well writing). well let's explain my feelings as of now ; I'm HAPPY` ha im finee w| life &nd this feels good : idnt feel bothered w| drama tied into a situation or anythings ; things are normal w| absolutely nothin on my brain - hopes this last -

BB

if I could honestly say one thing about bijon I would say he is PETTY.! extremly petty ; to hype me &nd make it seem like yu was going to put the world in my hands &nd then yu just BOOM switch act funny style w|o no explanation` like too me yu just look like a wack nigga like neva would of thought yu could or would of done that ; &nd fór yu to now wanna be my friend bothers me cause ifeel like this is all apart of a game yu are playin&nd iguess im losing ; but fucc that I FORFIT. Cause ididnt wanna play no game where my heart is involed ; &nd that's something yu seem to not get; that MY HEART was on the line befóre yu threw it bacc in my facee &nd basically laughed while doin it ; I really trusted yu&nd now for me to t®ust again is SLIM . idnt know anyway to make yu understand or see how much it did hurt&nd that ireally did CRY. I really did care ; but irefuse to play w| yu ; iwould like yu out my life (something idnt mean) but ireally want; but its been a week or so ; so I'm gettin over it ; but BB this is a part of my life imay never understand